There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
