My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
