I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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