Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize