I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Your cock deserves a montage
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
