New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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