And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
