So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
