i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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