real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
