They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
