My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
