not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
