Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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