just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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