it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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