This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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