Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
These tits shall not be calmed
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
