I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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