lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize