I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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