You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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