tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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