I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
