I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
