You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
