No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You are a genius and a whore.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
