Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
it's great music for shaving your balls
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize