Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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