now i know why i became what i already was.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
