there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
