He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I understand Curling. That high.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
