Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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