you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
BRING THE BAGELS
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
