how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
