I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
