I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
