there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
