I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
