census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
