I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
