why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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