ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
do nipples grow back?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
