I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
