don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
