Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
