so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
