Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Randomize
