Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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