I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
where does the pee come out of this thing
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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