belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
