Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize