it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
