He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize