Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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