I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
