the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Someone signed my nipple.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
