dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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