I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize