Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
im holly from the hills drunk
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize